


Lost Without You

by SpacedustAndBoxes



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil gets hurt, Don't Examine This Too Closely, M/M, Mind reading... kind of?, Protective Carlos, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This will probably be short, Weird Plot Shit, angsty, station management is an asshole, super fluffy ending tho, weird science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-25 22:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18710950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacedustAndBoxes/pseuds/SpacedustAndBoxes
Summary: When an "accident" at the radio station leaves Cecil in a coma, Carlos will go to any extreme to bring his boyfriend back... even if it means risking his own mind.





	Lost Without You

An expression of shock. A dropped beaker shattering on the floor, sending blue liquid splattering across several different pairs of shoes. Murmurs of pity and concern as a terrified Carlos races out of the lab as if being chased by a madman. The sound of pained screams still tore from the radio on the desk, and someone thought they ought to shut it off. But no one did. Like when you can't look away from a crash, it was horrible, but no one could bring themselves to make it stop.  
His heart racing, Carlos rushed to the radio station. He couldn't escape the horrible, horrible sound of Cecil's scrams. It was everywhere, and it made him feel sick. Cecil, HIS Cecil, was hurt. Not just hurt, but in agony. The sound was heartbreaking, and as Carlos reached the radio station, all he could do was pray to whatever higher power watched over this town that Cecil would be okay. Cecil had to be okay.  
Carlos ran inside, and he felt his heart drop. The window of the radio booth was smeared with blood.  
"Oh no... no no no... oh god please no!" He charged into the booth, and things only got worse.  
Lying on the floor, pale and mangled, was Cecil. Blood pooled around his head like a disgusting halo. Carlos immediately went to his side and dropped to his knees.  
"Cecil! Cecil!" Carlos couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face as he cradled his precious boyfriend in his arms. "Oh, Cecil, please be okay... please please please..."  
Cecil was barely conscious, and though it took all the strength he could muster, he managed to force his eyes open.  
Carlos sobbed. Cecil's eyes, normally so bright and full of life, were dim with pain and weakness, and it was heartbreaking to see him in this state.  
"C-Carlos..." Cecil struggled to speak, blood bubbling at his lips.  
"Don't try to talk, baby." Carlos said softly. "Save your strength. Stay awake for me."  
A quiet whimper was heard from the far side of the room, and Carlos looked in that direction with a hateful glare.  
Fortunately, it was only a terrified intern, stumbling out of their hiding place.  
"What happened?!" He demanded, rage flooding his voice.  
"S-Station Management..." The intern mumbled. "Th-they... They've been getting annoyed w-with him for a while... how distracted he gets... A-and... they a-attacked..."  
Carlos frowned, returning his attention to Cecil. He was overwhelmed, feeling far too many things at once.  
'Focus!' He told himself angrily. 'Cecil needs help!'  
He sighed, now speaking out loud. "Cecil, I'm gonna get help okay? I'm gonna get you somewhere safe." He continued to speak, mostly rambling now, as he picked up Cecil and began to run to Night Vale's hospital. "Hold on for me, Cecil... please... please just stay awake for me. Just hold on a little longer baby, please."  
Cecil did not respond. He was far too weak. Lying limp in Carlos' arms, his vision was already beginning to blur and fade. He was struggling to stay conscious, focusing on his boyfriend's beautiful... perfect voice... He had to stay awake. He had to. For Carlos. But he was fighting a losing battle, and pain flared through his body every time Carlos moved.  
"C-Car... los..." He mumbled weakly.  
"I'm here, sweetheart," Carlos said, though he was unable to hide the panic in his voice.  
Cecil took a shaking breath. He had to say it... one last time... he was terrified of the thought of dying, but it was out of his hands now. If this was going to be his last time seeing Carlos, he had to make sure he knew.  
"I... I l-love... you..."  
Carlos sobbed. "Oh, Cecil... Cecil, honey, I know... I know and I love you too. I love you so, so much. Hold on for me. We're almost there."

Everything after that was a blur to Carlos. He remembered bursting into the hospital, terrified and breathless. He remembered breaking down sobbing as Cecil, now unconscious, was taken from his arms and rushed away. He remembered being asked many questions, and answering them, but he couldn't remember a single word that had been said. He felt horrible. He felt sick. As time went on, he spiralled down into hysterics, sobbing so hard that his lungs hurt and his nose began to bleed. He cried until he had nothing left in him, and as two hours passed he slowly ran out of energy, left choking and hiccuping as no more tears would come. He prayed that Cecil would be okay. He needed Cecil to be okay. He needed news and he needed it fast. But impatience would not help him in a hospital. All he could do was wait, and it was absolute hell.  
Carlos' mind was going a mile a minute, imagining the worst case scenarios. What if Cecil was already dead? What if he was suffering? What if he didn't know what was going on, and was scared? What if...  
"Excuse me?" An unfamiliar voice interrupted his thoughts.  
Carlos looked up at the strange woman. "Y-Yes?"  
"Are you with Mr. Palmer?"  
"Yes!" He jumped up, his heart racing. "Is he okay?!"  
The woman sighed. "I'm afraid he's not doing well..."  
Carlos paled. "No..."  
"He's alive, but he's unconscious. His injuries are severe."  
Carlos choked back a sob. "C-Can I see him...?"  
The woman nodded solemnly, and led him to a room.  
Walking into the room was almost worse than walking into the radio station. Cecil, sweet, innocent Cecil... Cecil was lying unconscious on a bed that was far too white. He had been mostly covered with a blanket to hide the severity of his injuries, but a single glance at what was visible was enough to know that he was on death's door. The heart monitor beeped slowly, and there was a tube down his throat to keep him breathing. There were bloodstained bandages wrapped around his head and around one arm, and the other arm was in a cast. The blanket covered him from the chest down.  
Carlos immediately went to his side. "Cecil... No..."  
The woman sighed softly. "I'll leave you alone..."  
Carlos didn't care. He barely noticed as she walked away and closed the door. It didn't matter. All that mattered was Cecil. His world, his everything, was laid out in front of him, clinging to life. He seemed so fragile, and Carlos was afraid to touch him.  
"Cecil... oh my god... Cecil, what the hell did they do to you?"

Days passed, and became weeks, which became months. Carlos was losing it. He didn't go to work anymore. He spent every moment he could beside his unconscious boyfriend, even going as far as neglecting his own needs to stay by Cecil's side. Someone had, at some point, mentioned that Cecil might be ale to hear him, and Carlos had let that idea consume him. Every day, he would spend hours talking to Cecil, begging him to wake up, or telling him stories, or singing his favourite songs, talking until his voice was hoarse and desperately praying that Cecil would show some kind of reaction. But, sadly, he never did. Even as his wounds healed and his body slowly put itself back together, Cecil did not wake. Could not wake.  
The day Carlos was told that they wanted to examine Cecil's brain was the worst day of his life. They hadn't said it outright, but he knew exactly what they meant. They wanted to find out if Cecil was brain dead. Carlos felt sick to his stomach, but begrudgingly agreed. Already, denial was starting to set in. Cecil wasn't brain dead. He couldn't possibly be. He couldn't be. He'd spoken to Carlos before losing consciousness. That had to mean something, right? Right? He wracked his brain for answers, but there were none. He was a scientist, not a medic.  
He had been told that he was allowed to be present for the testing, and something in his heart told him to say yes, even though it made him feel sick to see Cecil being put into that machine. His heart ached for his lover. All he wanted was for everything to be okay again, but it seemed impossible. In spite of whatever had told him to come and watch the tests, he couldn't bring himself to pay attention. At least, not until he heard the doctor's confused mumbling.  
"What's wrong?"  
"This doesn't make sense..." the doctor complained.  
Carlos went over to them. "What do you mean?"  
"Well... physically, the patient seems to be in a deep coma, but his brain activity isn't normal for that. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was dreaming."  
Carlos frowned. Normal by real life standards and weird by Night Vale standards were two VERY different things. If this was weird by Night Vale standards... Carlos didn't even want to consider what that could mean for his poor boyfriend.  
The doctor began explaining things in a lot of technical terms, none of which made any sense to Carlos. He wasn't paying attention. His mind was occupied by something else entirely. Cecil was dreaming... hadn't one of his colleagues been working on an experiment that had something to do with dreams? There was that strange feeling inside, telling him what he needed to do. As Cecil was returned to his room, Carlos left the hospital for the first time in days, and made his way to the lab.

Everyone was surprised to see Carlos entering the lab. At this point, everyone knew what was going on with Cecil and Carlos couldn't stand the way they looked at him as if he was some poor creature to be pitied. He ignored their questions and kind words as he found the specific person he was looking for.  
"Marcel!"  
The young man with the strange machine and the papers all over his desk pushed his goggles up onto his head. "Oh. Uh... Hi Carlos. How are... things?"  
"I'm sorry, but I don't have time to waste. You were studying dreams, right?"  
"Yeah... why?"  
"What does it mean if someone is dreaming in a coma?"  
"Um... I don't know. I haven't really studied comas."  
Carlos sighed in frustration. "Well, what have you studied?!"  
"Well I built this!" Marcel gestured proudly at his machine, which honestly just looked like a pair of really complicated bike helmets.  
"What is it?"  
"It's a device that allows people to enter each other's dreams."  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah! Do you want to see how it works?"  
Carlos looked at him, the proverbial gears in his mind spinning impossibly fast. "...how safe is it?"  
"Well, I've almost perfected it."  
"I think... I think you might be able to help me. Pack up your device and come with me."  
"Uh... okay?"

Marcel frowned as Carlos explained what he was thinking. "So, let me get this straight... You want to go into Cecil's dreams and see if you can bring him back to consciousness?"  
Carlos nodded. "That's right. Do you think it will work?"  
"I don't know... this wasn't the intended use for my device..."  
"Please, Marcel." Carlos' voice was heavy with desperation. "Please... I'm lost without him. I need him."  
"...fine. We can try it But it's risky."  
"How so?"  
"He's still weak. If he dies while you're in his dream, you'll never wake up either."  
Carlos took a slow breath. Carlos wouldn't say it out loud, but... he didn't want to live in a world without Cecil in it. "...it's worth the risk to save my Cecil."  
Marcel sighed. "Alright then... sit down."  
Carlos sat down in a nearby chair, watching as Marcel put one of the helmet-like devices on Cecil's head. He picked up the other device, putting it on his own head.  
"You're sure this is safe?"  
"Like I said, the only risk is if Cecil dies. But I can pull you out if I notice him taking a turn for the worse."  
"Okay..." Carlos took a slow breath, trying to calm himself.  
'This is for Cecil,' he thought. 'This is to save Cecil. Nothing else matters.'  
Carlos closed his eyes as Marcel began pressing buttons and flipping switches on both devices. Slowly, the world around Carlos began to fade, and he closed his eyes.

When Carlos opened his eyes, he was confused. He was in Night Vale. But... it wasn't Night Vale. The sky was a shimmering mess of brilliant colours, and the city seemed a lot nicer than it usually was. The road was paved with iridescent stones that Carlos didn't recognize, and everything seemed to shine. This, he realized, was not Night Vale. Not really. It was just that Cecil's mindscape happened to take the form of his hometown. Carlos sighed. He needed to find Cecil, and he needed to find him fast.  
As Carlos began to wander through town, he began to notice that some of the buildings had signs in front of them. Each sign had a few simple words on them, and as Carlos looked through the windows of those buildings, he could see scenes from Cecil's dreams about those subjects. He entered the first one he came across, the one with the sign that read "flying", but the inside was completely empty. Still, as Carlos crossed the doorway, he was taken quickly by an entirely new scene.  
He was soaring high above the town. Though he could not see the wings that held him aloft, he could feel them move and stretch as he circled. He could feel his heart racing. He could absolutely understand why his beloved Cecil would dream about something so wonderful. Still, he knew this wasn't a fantasy he could waste his time with. He needed to find Cecil. He snapped himself out of it, and found himself back outside of the "flying" house.  
Sighing, Carlos looked around Cecil's dream version of Night Vale. He didn't know how much time he'd have, but he doubted he could search the entire town.  
"What places are most likely for Cecil to be..." he wondered out loud. The first answer that came to mind was their house. Sighing, he began walking home. He knew his way around Night Vale well enough by now that he could get there pretty easily. Like the rest of the buildings, their house had a sign in front of it. This one read "future". Carlos' curiosity got the better of him and, though he didn't want to actually experience such an intimate dream of Cecil's, he couldn't help but peek through the windows to catch a glimpse of what these dreams might look like.  
The scene inside was simple and innocent. Cecil and Carlos, curled up on the couch together, watching something. It was cute, and something that was a frequent occurrence in their home, but Carlos noticed a very specific detail that made his face flush. Something glittered on the left hands of both Cecil and the dream version of himself. Matching silver rings. Wedding rings, Carlos realized. Cecil wanted to get married. More specifically, Cecil wanted to marry HIM. His heart ached.  
"Oh, Cecil..." he whispered. "I'll start planning how to propose the minute I get us both out of here. I promise."  
His hands shook slightly as he opened the door, looking inside to see if Cecil was there. It saddened him to see that he wasn't. Where else could Cecil be?  
Thinking for a moment, Carlos decided maybe Cecil could be at the lab. He took one last, wistful glance at the beautiful vision in the windows of their home as he walked away. He'd give anything to be there with Cecil now. He'd give anything for Cecil to just be okay. Walking to the lab from home was muscle memory at this point, and so he let his thoughts linger on Cecil's beautiful dream for a moment as he walked.  
When he reached the lab, the sign in front of it wasn't surprising. "Carlos". Of course the lab would contain Cecil's dreams about him. Carlos approached the lab's door, to look for Cecil inside, but the scene reflected on the window caught his eye and he froze, his face turning red.  
Unlike at the house, the scene on the lab's windows was anything but innocent. In it, Carlos was working on something in his office at the lab, when Cecil walked in. As Carlos got up to greet him, Cecil pushed him back against the wall and kissed him roughly. As the vision progressed, Carlos decided he'd seen enough. He'd definitely seen enough. As much as he wanted to find Cecil, he really hoped that this wouldn't be the building he found him in. That would be embarrassing.  
It was both fortunate and unfortunate that Carlos didn't see Cecil when he opened the lab's door. Blushing, he turned away and headed towards the only other place he thought Cecil could be. The radio station.  
The idea of going there again made him feel uneasy, even though he knew this would not be like when he'd found Cecil there, it felt like so long ago now, he was still afraid of the place. The memories unnerved him, taunting him with their horror as he walked.  
Finally, Carlos reached the radio station. He paused as he noticed the sign in front of it. "Nightmares".  
He frowned, and tried not to look at the windows as he approached the station's door. Sure enough, he opened it to a worst case scenario. There, curled up on the floor as if asleep, was Cecil. He looked peaceful, but Carlos knew that the fact that Cecil was inside the building meant that he was having nightmares.  
Steeling his nerves, Carlos braced himself for whatever horrors Cecil's dreams could hold. "Anything for you Cecil... Anything for you..."

As Carlos crossed the doorway, a terrible scene unfolded before him. He didn't recognize the room, but the walls were coated with blood. Carlos felt sick as he noticed several corpses around the room. He recognized the faces of Cecil's friends, family, and even Khoshekh. He soon recognized his lover's quiet sobs. Cecil was holding one of the corpses, clinging to it and sobbing. Carlos paled and felt sick to his stomach as he realized who it was that Cecil was crying over. It was him.  
Worried and feeling sick to his stomach, Carlos went to Cecil and put a hand on his shoulder.  
Cecil looked up at him, and his eyes widened in shock. "Carlos?!"  
"It's me, Cecil. The real me."  
"Y-you... how?!"  
"One of the scientists I work with had a machine that let me enter your dreams."  
"Oh... but... why would you do that?"  
"Why would I... Cecil, you've been in a coma for months!"  
"...I have?"  
"Yes!" Carlos had tears running down his face now.  
"Oh..." Cecil stared at him with fearful eyes. "Oh, Carlos... I'm so sorry... It hasn't felt like that long... I... I d-didn't know..."  
"It's okay, honey. Just... please...please wake up with me... I need you..."  
Cecil hugged Carlos. His Carlos. The real Carlos. "Yes. Get me out of here. Please."  
Carlos gently led Cecil out of the nightmare and back into his Night Vale mindscape. "Just close your eyes and focus on waking up."  
Cecil nodded slightly, and the two of them closed their eyes, clinging to each other.

As reality came into focus around him, Carlos' first thought was Cecil. He took off Marcel's device and set it aside, rushing to Cecil and grabbing his hand.  
"Come on baby... Come on, come on... please, baby... please wake up..."  
Slowly, Cecil's eyes fluttered open. Carlos felt his heart skip a beat. Cecil, his Cecil, was a finally awake! Seeing those beautiful violet eyes again felt like a miracle. Carlos wanted nothing more that to kiss Cecil. But, unfortunately, he couldn't as Cecil still had a tube down his throat. So he settled for taking the device off of Cecil and kissing his forehead instead. He felt tears of relief and joy sting his eyes.  
"Cecil... baby... you're back..."

It was another week before Cecil was able to leave the hospital, but it was a week spent in the pure, heart-wrenching joy of a long awaited reunion. Carlos was so happy to have his Cecil back, and though Cecil didn't know it yet, Carlos was already making the plans he'd promised.  
Of course, Cecil's recovery wasn't immediate. Even by the time he was allowed to go home from the hospital, he was still fairly weak. But that didn't bother Carlos at all. If anything, it was a good excuse to fuss over Cecil and take care of him. That was something Cecil would usually be too prideful to allow. But with Cecil being as weak as he was... he didn't seem to have a problem letting Carlos treat him like a prince, so long as Carlos didn't do anything that would make Cecil feel useless.  
As Cecil slowly recovered, Carlos planned and planned. He looked at hundreds of rings, and imagined millions of things he could say. Over and over, he plotted it out in his mind. It needed to be perfect.  
Try as he might, Carlos couldn't think of how to do it. Even as he found the perfect ring, and figured out exactly what he wanted to say, he couldn't think of where or when to say it. Until, one evening, he got home from work to see Cecil perched on the roof. Carlos quickly climbed up and sat beside him. As the sun set, Cecil leaned into Carlos' arms, and Carlos held him close. His mind began to wander. He began to think about just how much Cecil meant to him, and how much he needed him in his life, and how desperately he wanted the future he'd seen in Cecil's dreams. He looked at Cecil, his Cecil, as the sky began to grow dark, and gasped quietly. Reflected in Cecil's eyes were all the stars of the night sky, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Carlos had ever seen. Carlos knew, right then, that this was it. Now was the time. Here was the place.  
"Cecil?"  
"Hm?" Cecil lifted his head from where it had rested on Carlos' shoulder. "What is it, love?"  
"I just... I've been thinking..." Carlos' heart was racing. All those words he'd planned so carefully escaped him now. Oh well. At least he had the ring. He often kept it in his pocket, hoping for the right moment to present itself, and now that moment was here. "Everything that's happened recently... well, as scary as it was... it showed me just how much I love you, and how much I need you in my life. I couldn't live without you, Cecil. You make my world complete."  
Cecil blushed, speechless.  
Carlos could not kneel on the roof. He decided that didn't matter. With tears in his eyes, he took the small velvet box from his pocket, and opened it to reveal an intricately decorated silver ring, set with purple gems.  
"Cecil Palmer, will you marry me?"  
Cecil gasped, blushing, and those star-filled eyes brimmed with happy tears. "Oh, Carlos... Yes! Yes, I want to marry you!"  
Carlos smiled, tearing up as well as he carefully removed the ring from the box and slipped it onto Cecil's hand, then lifted that delicate hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.  
"I love you, Cecil," he whispered.  
"I love you too, Carlos," Cecil said softly.  
At that moment, the two men had the exact same thought, and their lips crashed in a passionate, loving, beautiful kiss. A kiss that seemed to last for eternity. At long last, after everything that had happened, the stars aligned for the two lovers.  
And everything was perfect.


End file.
